I’ve had a hell of a few days. In fact I’ve had an intense couple of weeks. The first 30 days seemed fairly easy but now things are getting much scarier.
I’ve finally had tears, lots of tears and stress. Fear is another biggie. My head keeps galloping off to scary places, scary possibilities and projections. I’ve had regrets for the past, for life choices I’ve made, fears for the immediate and further future. There’s been stress at work and at home with my partner and now to top it off I’ve got a bad back. I’ve had all sorts of stuff going on in my head but I’m currently in my rinse and repeat cycle of work so I’m about to go to sleep and don’t have time to write about it.
I’ve just downloaded a couple of books written by Pema Chodron. I’ve heard consistently good things about her buddhist teachings and a friend recommended that I read some of her stuff a while ago. One book is called ‘When things fall apart’ and the other is called ‘The places that scare you’. They both sound very appropriate at the moment.
It isn’t all dark scary doom and gloom at the moment though. I didn’t drink which is one bright light and victory. The other good thing is that I seem to have developed a fixation with writing comical rhymes. I have no idea where it’s come from but I’m always happy to discover a new form of creative outlet. Here’s one about red wine…
An ode to red wine
Red, red wine I loved you for so long
You promised the world and then did me wrong
You made me giggle and sing and twirl
And then went too far and made me hurl
If one feels so good then more must be great?
It’s the trap that leads to a sorry-ass state
Like a bad one night stand in the morning you’ve fled
Leaving me here with a stomping bad head
The questions begin, the anxiety swells
Did i really do that?! Oh my god, fucking hell!