I’ve gone past the two week mark now and it’s still going well. Last night I worked the final shift of four in a row and got a bit of shopping before I went home. It only occurred to me after getting home that I hadn’t even consciously needed to avoid the wine aisle. The thought of buying some ‘end of week treat’ wine just hadn’t crossed my mind which feels huge. A chocolate sundae, yes! – wine, no 🙂
After getting home I got changed into slouchy clothes and went downstairs. My partner, out of the blue said ‘You look great, you know’. ‘Huh? in this?’ I laughed, looking down at my scruffy jogging bottoms and unflattering but snuggly oversized cardi. He replied ‘No, I mean you just look really good generally at the moment’. I said thank you and it put a bigger smile into my morning. I checked myself out in the hall mirror and though I couldn’t quite put my finger on any details I did think I might look a bit more bright-eyed and glowy than before – even after a long night shift.
I then had a weird dream today. I was going somewhere alone for a retreaty sort of holiday and was driving there. Suddenly the road got really ridiculously steep, almost vertical and my little car spun round and rolled back down the hill. I got out and started climbing up and for some strange reason I had rubber ‘stoppers’ on the front of my shoes like the ones found on 70s style roller boots. I climbed/crawled up this crazy slope and at one point I looked down and got scared that I would really hurt myself sliding back if I lost my grip. There was a moment when I almost chickened out and went back down but I kept going upwards. I finally pulled myself over the top onto a level road that went off through bright sunlight and beautiful scenery into the distance, towards my retreat destination I suppose but that’s all I can remember.
How symbolic?! LOL! I know that the big climb will inevitably come to me. If not this week then next week / month / year. Who knows when? When it does come I’ll try to remember the feeling of peace and achievement and sunshine that I had in the dream when I got over the top of the hill. I’ll stay away from the 70s style roller boots though, that just sounds like a recipe for double knee surgery for me.
Wishing everybody sweet dreams and bright sunshine 🙂