Day 16 – Thinking about my health

I’ve gone over 2 weeks now and still going strong. I’d love to say I’m feeling great as a result but I’m actually feeling pretty dreadful on and off but that’s down to struggling with my thyroid medication so not related to alcohol in any way. Even so, I know that ditching the booze can only be a good thing for my health.

Back in august I had a load of blood tests done including the much feared liver function tests. Surprisingly they came back as ‘within normal range’ which was a relief. In hindsight I think this may have played a part in my slipping back into drinking again. The booze devil inside me most definitely took it as confirmation that ‘I wasn’t that bad after all / See, no harm done’ etc…

That’s not a helpful way to think really is it? That’s like saying well hey, my liver hasn’t failed yet so I may as well keep hammering it until it does. Or, wow, I don’t have lung cancer yet so fuck it I’ll just keep on smoking and quit when I do eh? Seriously?!

There’s also the fallibility of medical tests. On a number of occasions in the last decade my thyroid tests have been ‘within normal range’ which could lead you to think it was perfectly fine. Unfortunately, due to Hashimoto’s disease my immune system has been doing a ninja kick-ass routine on it for all that time so in reality it has been merely scraping by and keeping up the appearance of normality against all odds. Sooo… who knows, maybe that’s what my liver has been doing?

I also can’t escape the fact that when I have a drinking binge – which is basically any time I drink – I get a dull pain under the right side of my ribs. No drink = no pain, drink = pain. Suspicious huh? It’s not rocket science πŸ˜‰

In the last couple of weeks I’ve watched some alcohol-related documentaries on youtube and wow has that been a sobering experience. Watching a young woman with liver failure have 23 litres of ascites fluid drained from her abdomen (it looks like cloudy pee!) is pretty appalling 😦 Here are links to some of the most interesting ones:

Old before my time – alcohol
Alcohol will kill you!

The next one may seem a bit judgemental at times, particularly about whether addiction is a disease or not, but it still raises many interesting points to consider:

Beyond sober

And on a more positive and uplifting note here’s a beautiful one focusing on sobriety:

Sober

I also bought a couple of books for my new kindle which was a sober treat that’s already 50% paid for by the savings from not drinking:
Drink: The Deadly Relationship Between Women and Alcohol – Ann Dowsett Johnston
Smashed: Growing Up A Drunk Girl – Koren Zailckas

So, lots of sobriety-focused watching, reading and thinking going on here. It’s now almost 5am and I’m enjoying the early silence whilst I write this. I have a busy day planned doing lots of sober and productive stuff. Wishing everybody a positive, sober day too x

Advertisements

7 thoughts on “Day 16 – Thinking about my health

  1. racheldoesntdrinkhereanymore November 13, 2015 / 5:43 am

    Anytime I feel bad, sick, sore, under the weather, hell, even hung over, I would drink. Wine would make me feel better and all the pain would fade into the background — until tomorrow, when I’d take 800 milligrams of ibuprofen and start again.

    Good for you for not drinking even when you don’t feel well. This is a long game. The promise is that if we can look beyond our immediate discomfort, the payoff will be 10-fold. Hope you have a great day!

    Rachel.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Millie November 13, 2015 / 7:11 am

    It maddening the justifications our booze brain will try and convince us of. Well done on 16 days, it’s a big achievement, try to be gentle on yourself, the good stuff is already happening slowly but surely and it does get better. Promise

    Liked by 1 person

  3. ainsobriety November 13, 2015 / 2:23 pm

    I have that pain too.
    It mostly went away with sobriety.
    My dr felt it was a duodenal ulcer. But during the tests I had a biopsy and found I had celiac disease. Perhaps it was both those things?

    It still appears occasionally. It’s not at severe as when I was drinking.

    It takes the body a long time to recover. I know for a few months I felt crappy and was annoyed. I was a weekend drinker. But it still took my body months to heal. Maybe it still is….

    Liked by 1 person

    • tiredoftreadingwater November 14, 2015 / 11:22 am

      My partner brought me some lovely biscuits back from his trip and I of course tucked in. I don’t do well with gluten either but interestingly my gut seems to handle it better now I’m not drinking. I’ll be back on the gluten free now though as whatever my guts feel like it’s still not recommended to eat it if you have autoimmune diseases.

      I’m glad you are doing better without it and I think healing is an ongoing process and we can get better and stronger with each new day. I hope!

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s