I’m having pointless ‘romancing the drink’ feelings today. There’s no obvious reason for it, I’m not stressed about anything obvious. I’m a bit bored and restless but nothing extreme. I’m imagining sitting in the garden with a bottle of wine ‘just because’. I’m not going to do it. It’ll pass.
Wednesday was quite stressful. I took my cat to the vets for her annual booster jabs and check up. She was not impressed. I was stressed trying to get her into the carry basket. Anybody that has had a cat knows that they can transform themselves from sleek and streamlined into the most awkward, unmanageable shape in the universe if they decide they don’t want to be stuffed into that box. I hated the stroppy squawk she gave when I finally forced her in there – the feline equivalent of shouting ‘BITCH!’ I imagine.
My partner drove while I held the basket on my lap and my heart sank watching her panicked face and I tried to soothe her as she cried and yowled all the way there. Her ears were flat back as she was pricked, prodded and poked and had a worming tablet shoved down her throat. Then the vet informed us she’d put on too much weight and I lapsed into a sanctimonious cow moment and told my partner off there and then, in front of the vet.
We’ve been arguing for months about him being too soft and giving her too many treat biscuits as well as her regular food. I’ve been trying to set boundaries and routines but each time my back was turned he’d be giving her handfuls of treats. I’ve asked him over and over again to back off the treats but it’s fallen on deaf ears. The vet warned us we were signing her up for diabetes if we carried on. I feel bad that I let my frustration and stress spill out on the spot instead of waiting until we were in private but I also know that the vet’s warnings have done the trick. He’s respecting boundaries now.
The cat isn’t impressed. She’s manipulated him into a ‘treats on demand’ scenario and is completely addicted to them. Yesterday was the first day of her new strict routine and she was a maniac. My day started at 3am when she stuck her claws into the arch of my foot (there are a million more pleasant ways to wake up than that). It was poking out at the bottom of the bed and she upped the ante from using the frame as a scratching post. Then she ran rampage making lots of noise and starting paddling against an ajar cupboard door on the landing. Thud, bang, clunk, clunk – it’s not the best noise to be making at that time in a terraced house. I eventually got up because it was obvious I wasn’t getting back to sleep. She’s generally a good cat so I figured something was up with her.
I went downstairs and after watching her for a few of moments it became obvious she was in some sort of treat addiction withdrawal. She was jumping up into her usual treat spot, staring across the room where the treats are stored, squirming her back up to look cuter and every trick in the book she knows. I made a pot of coffee for myself and then finally gave her a new smaller portion of treats which she ate with a desperate speed and kept trying to get me to give her more. I cuddled and stroked her instead and talked her down. I told her I knew she was breaking a habit and it was hard but she’d adapt – it would pass. Then I laughed at myself because I was actually being my cat’s addiction counsellor. WTF?! 😀 She’s much more settled today fortunately.
I wish I was more settled. I’ve been eating crap and drinking too much coffee. I have done some constructive stuff but I’ve now got a serious case of the can’t be bothered feeling. I might have to write off the rest of today with some gaming or netflix. I’d rather do that than drink. That mythical ‘magical’ drinking moment in the sun wouldn’t happen. I’d overshoot that by miles, cane the whole bottle, and some, and end up feeling shit. I’d also restart the obsessive thinking loops and go back to square one.
It’s just not worth it. I’ll keep telling myself that. IT’S NOT WORTH IT!
I hope you’re all having a better day x