Day 21

So I made it to 3 weeks this time, yayy! I’m still feeling my newly discovered inner resolve and haven’t thought much about drinking over the last week.

I had a really disturbing drinking dream yesterday though. I had gone to visit an old friend and her partner and we’d arranged to go out. Then things become a bit unclear because the dream cuts to me knocking on the door to hurry them up so we can go out but it’s actually 8am Sunday morning and I’m drunk with an almost finished bottle of wine in my hand. She’s all sleepy and in her PJs and I felt really embarrassed and ashamed. I think I had a blackout in a dream!! Then I wanted to get away from there urgently and was debating how dangerous it would be to drive but she was telling me to come inside the house. That’s all I can remember.

For the first few moments after I woke up I was still feeling the shame, anxiety and extreme disappointment – I felt like I was going to cry. I can’t tell you how happy I was when I realised I was still sober and it had all been a bad dream πŸ˜€

Happy sober Friday folks x

 

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18 thoughts on “Day 21

  1. tarnishedsoul February 17, 2017 / 3:51 pm

    Congratulations, but don’t take your focus off today. Today is the only one that matters. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

      • tarnishedsoul February 17, 2017 / 4:37 pm

        I need support too. It’s how we make it in this world – supporting one another.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. shehidbehindtheglass February 17, 2017 / 4:15 pm

    A blackout in a dream, that’s crazy! It’s such a weird feeling when you wake up from those dreams, eh? Yikes. Glad it was just a dream, and congrats on 21 days! πŸ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

    • tiredoftreadingwater February 17, 2017 / 4:36 pm

      Thank you! Yes, I was totally freaked out. It didn’t help that I was visiting family so I wasn’t in my own bed which added to the confusion. Urgh! Sober is great:D

      Liked by 2 people

  3. freefallingintoasoberlife February 17, 2017 / 6:17 pm

    Ok-here’s my unsolicited interpretation of your dream. Of course you have to decide if it fits. Because it’s your dream and in effect you created it, everything and everyone in your dream represents a part of you. Most people consider a house in a dream to represent the psyche. So while there’s a part of you that’s still “imbibing” in a past behaviour, you’re embarrassed about it. And know that it’s wrong. So wrong, that that part of you actually “blacked it out”. The woman in the house is the part of you that’s totally okay and supportive of you and where you are now-she also accepts and loves you-proving it by inviting you into her/your house (or your psyche) which is a safe place. the fact that she was in her pajamas could represent her being comfortable in this house/psyche. It’s safe. It’s a place of rest. The drinking part of you could still be a bit resistant, but then also not comfortable with still drinking-and at the same time wanting to go into that comfortable, safe place of sobriety. Only you can decide if any of this fits or if it feels like total bs-
    Either way-good for you for 3 weeks!

    Liked by 2 people

    • tiredoftreadingwater February 19, 2017 / 9:29 am

      Thank you πŸ™‚ I like your interpretation of the dream, it’s interesting. I’ve got to the stage in life where I have a good acceptance of myself in most areas – there’s obviously still some issues with drinking and although I’m not struggling and worrying about it at the moment who knows what’s bubbling away just below the level that I’m aware of. Very interesting, thanks!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Hurrahforcoffee February 17, 2017 / 6:46 pm

    Well done on three weeks! I’m always so relieved when I wake up from those drinking dreams. This proves to me that I really do want to be sober. The relief is enormous when you realise it was only a dream. Your subconscious is catching up with your conscious mind. This is a very good thing. xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    • tiredoftreadingwater February 19, 2017 / 9:30 am

      Hi! Thank you πŸ™‚ I do still feel good and though the dream freaked me out briefly it didn’t do anything to dampen my mood and sober enthusiasm in the time since it happened x

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I Quit Wineing February 17, 2017 / 11:06 pm

    I think lucid dreams come with sobriety! Our brain is kickstarting and firing up, healing itself. Hence the weird dreams. Thats my thoughts for the day!

    Liked by 1 person

    • tiredoftreadingwater February 19, 2017 / 9:32 am

      That sounds good – I love a good weird dream, bring it on but just with a bit less of the boozing theme next time please πŸ™‚ x

      Like

  6. Untipsyteacher February 18, 2017 / 3:01 am

    Yay!
    Happy 3 weeks!
    Drinking dreams are very interesting.
    They pack a punch.
    xo
    Wendy

    Liked by 1 person

  7. John Swan Author February 18, 2017 / 7:57 am

    Day 21 is a great achievement. Well done. It’s a good period of resting your body

    I don’t drink because it’s no longer fun. The risk to my life is too much now after tasting death through drinking

    Have you any idea how day 210 feels like? Keep going

    If you want a fright read my hospital stories. I felt ill with no notice and no pain.

    I don’t mind others drinking but I do mind people who don’t stop and rest their body

    Liked by 1 person

    • tiredoftreadingwater February 19, 2017 / 9:35 am

      Thank you John. Your story sounds quite intense and 210 days is amazing. My best has been 109 days so far and that felt pretty good until I messed it up so I bet 210 feels pretty awesome. Thank you for your comment and support πŸ™‚

      Like

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