Over 8 months

I passed the 8 month mark a couple of days ago but I can’t remember my day count exactly without checking my phone, which I think is a good thing. I’ve had some time off work and spent some much-needed chillout time and life/home admin tucked away in the house. It’s been an odd week or so which has provided me with quite a few small reminders about why life is better when I’m sober.

We had a sofa delivered at the beginning of the week which has ended up being a bit of a saga. The chaos started with my cat deciding to try to poop out a furball behind the front door, 5 minutes before it arrived. When I found her and she realised she was busted she legged it round the house meowing with the ‘thing’ hanging half out her butt as I ran after her with baby wipes. Yuck!

The delivery guys then arrived and got the sofa stuck in the hallway. They shoved it so hard it sheared off one side of one of the door frames with a massive ‘CRACK’ and a scattering of heavy Victorian-era plaster. I wasn’t happy but these things happen and that’s the reason companies have public liability insurance. I took photos of the damage, emailed the company and I’m now waiting for them to go through their complaints process. Unfortunately the sofa is awful. We unwrapped it and plonked excitedly on it to find it’s rock hard. My kind of sofa will let you sink in and relax. This one felt like I was perched on a horse, sitting upright to attention. It only took a couple of hours for it to make my back ache.

We decided to return it which the company fortunately allows. I had to repack it though. You know when you take something out of its original packaging and then it never fits back in quite right? Try that with a large sofa! They collected it today and I held my breath as they struggled it out through the hallway. Once they’d cleared the front door I let out a sigh of relief, too soon as it turned out because there came a big shattering clunk as they knocked off the top of one of our brick gate pillars. Seriously guys?! To be fair it was probably a bit loose. These houses were built at the turn of the last century and the front walls are getting a bit knackered in places. Even so… it’s two new repair jobs we could do without.

The drinking me would have immersed myself in a spiral of drama with each incident being the ‘justification’ for a drinking session. I was a bit stressed about it but not so much about the material stuff, more the disruption to my routine and the invasion of privacy. I can’t relax when I know strangers are going to come into the house. Now I’m not drinking I can see through the surface stress to a more balanced drama-free perspective.

There’s so much to actually be grateful for in this story if I think clearly about it. Firstly, we’re in a position to be able to afford a new sofa. Secondly, for damage to occur to my home, I need to have one, which I do. I’m grateful that it’s generally safe, warm and happy. Repacking the sofa wasn’t much fun but I’m so grateful that I have the fitness and strength to maneuvre a 43kg sofa on my own (my partner had a crazy work schedule the last couple of days so I dealt with it). I’m grateful that I’m not facing damage from hurricanes, earthquakes or bombs – just some clumsy delivery guys. You get the idea.

None of it is going to matter in a few weeks, never mind the bigger picture. Finally, I’m grateful that I’m sober and can put all this in its proper perspective. It was a small and restrictive mindset that would have manically run with these ‘nice to have’ ‘problems’ in the direction of a drinking binge. What a petty, limiting and negative way to live! I’m so glad that’s not my mindset any more. Life is far from perfect but I have so much to be grateful for.

I still have a couple of nights left of my holiday so I’m planning a seriously chilled and lazy evening. I’ll get into my PJs and sink into our comfy old worn and cracked sofa with a furry blanket, lots of hot tea and a long session of Gotham on netflix. Hell yeah ;D

Have a lovely evening whatever you get up to x

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26 thoughts on “Over 8 months

  1. S_MW September 28, 2017 / 8:19 pm

    Brilliant. When I think back to a time when my kids were little, when I was a basket-case. I was so unhappy at times. I used food as my crutch, used it to make me happy…except I never really was. I feel bad for saying this nearly every time I comment, but I’m never sure if I can truly understand what it’s like being addicted to alcohol, even if I know how it felt to be addicted to nearly everything else. What I do know is how it feels to be capable of things like moving furniture and of being able to deal with any shit, because I’m not stressed out about anything. X

    Liked by 1 person

    • S_MW September 28, 2017 / 8:20 pm

      Isn’t it great that you don’t even know how long you’ve been sober? I think you’re amazing. ❤

      Liked by 2 people

      • tiredoftreadingwater October 1, 2017 / 9:11 am

        Aww, thanks hon. The day counting has definitely become less significant in my day to day thinking about all this. It’s now more about the journey than the destination for me I guess. Hugs x

        Liked by 1 person

    • tiredoftreadingwater October 1, 2017 / 9:08 am

      Yes, the happiness seems to always be an illusion or a remarkably fleeting experience not worth having – whatever the addiction. That’s no reason to feel bad, I find it super interesting the shared themes and experiences across the various addictions be it food, alcohol, drugs or behaviours such as gambling. I envy your lack of stressing out, I do tend towards that but work hard to mindfully move towards a better perspective which I actually managed quite well with the sofa debacle 😀 x

      Liked by 1 person

  2. ainsobriety September 28, 2017 / 9:02 pm

    Yikes. A hard sofa is absolutely unnecessary.
    The cat made me laugh. 😊

    Liked by 3 people

    • tiredoftreadingwater October 1, 2017 / 9:15 am

      Unnecessary and unfathomable! I can look back and laugh now at the cat but I definitely wasn’t laughing at the time ;D

      Liked by 1 person

  3. feelingmywaybackintolife September 28, 2017 / 9:13 pm

    The cat! Ghegheghe…. Mine once tried to poop a cotton swab she ate. Same running. 😀
    Sorry about the rest of the saga. Pfiew. And yes: happy that you quit. The being able to deal is GREAT! As is the 8 months plus! Cool! 🙂
    xx, Feeling

    Liked by 2 people

    • tiredoftreadingwater October 1, 2017 / 9:19 am

      Thanks Feeling. Oh gawd, cats are such comedians sometimes but the messy butt stuff is only ever funny in hindsight. Cotton swab doesn’t sound good :-O xx

      Liked by 1 person

  4. gwennym September 28, 2017 / 10:08 pm

    omg the cat! I’ve had those things happen with cats, dogs ….

    and really, don’t we all have first-world problems?! If things go well or wrong or whatever, there’s our excuse to have a drink. I applaud your 8 months of sobriety. I hope I can get back there myself.

    Liked by 1 person

    • tiredoftreadingwater October 1, 2017 / 9:31 am

      Thank you Gwenny 🙂 You have already proved to yourself you can get there but I’d suggest don’t worry about the time counting too much. I’m beginning to realise we need to see it as an ongoing journey rather than making it to some sort of destination or finish line.

      It’s actually very rare for my cat to do something like that, she’s generally really good like that. Her timing on this occasion was bloody awful though, I can laugh in hindsight 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Anonymous September 29, 2017 / 12:13 pm

    Love this. Your story resonates with me. I will say this about the sofa– that happened to us and the company told us to give it two weeks and it will soften as it was hard from being on the truck so we did and they were right.

    Liked by 1 person

    • tiredoftreadingwater October 1, 2017 / 9:35 am

      Hi! and thank you. That’s interesting, I couldn’t imagine that thing ever softening, yikes! I’m prone to sciatica and it was affecting it after 2 hours though, I’m not sure I could have made it to 2 weeks. I’m glad yours turned out to be good though 🙂

      Like

  6. Paul S September 29, 2017 / 1:27 pm

    Who enjoys those kinds of sofas, anyways?? I can’t think of anything more uncomfortable.
    But what I loved about this is the attitude of gratitude. Great perspective. People are losing their entire homes in fires, hurricanes, etc. and here we are griping about small things (I do it all the time). And you are right – this too shall pass. We’re lucky, and we don’t have to drink over it!
    Thanks for this.

    Liked by 4 people

    • tiredoftreadingwater October 1, 2017 / 10:15 am

      Thanks Paul, I really appreciate your lovely feedback. I don’t know how I ever managed to get anything done when I was busy drinking over all the routine things that happen in life. We are definitely lucky now 🙂

      Like

  7. winoholicblog September 30, 2017 / 1:31 am

    It’s crazy how we so get so caught up in the moment and it feels overly dramatic, in two months from now you will probably laugh about it.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Hurrahforcoffee September 30, 2017 / 7:37 am

    OMG Cats and furballs! I know what you mean about more well balanced and steady. It’s one of the many many gifts sobriety gives. xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Sober Pursuits September 30, 2017 / 3:37 pm

    Oh dear what a faf! I too would have used ANY excuse for a drink. I rremember once going out for a short run, and it started to rain heavily on my way home. So I cracked open a bottle of red, because it had been raining and I needed a reward for the unpleasantness of this. WTF was all that about! Hope you have had a lovey few days of R and R. SP xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    • tiredoftreadingwater October 2, 2017 / 8:55 am

      Hi SP! That is a funny story about the rain and definitely the sort of thing I would have done too. It gets scary when I look back and think about all those times when drinking seemed necessary, or justified, or rewarding or whatever my twisted drinking logic called it on each occasion. Sober is simpler! Hugs x

      Like

  10. mikeykjr September 30, 2017 / 4:48 pm

    Thanks for bringing a smile to my face with your cat story this morning. The Adventures of our Furry Friends **laugh**. Congratulations on eight months of sobriety! Things we once thought drove our lives (the chaos) we can now see what it really is and laugh at it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • tiredoftreadingwater October 2, 2017 / 9:11 am

      Thanks Mikey 🙂

      They are strange little creatures at times, each so individual yet the furry chaos stories so recognisable 😀

      Like

  11. Sarah October 1, 2017 / 7:44 pm

    Congratulations on 8 months! And surviving your “sofa adventure.” Hope you find one, when you’re ready again, that is suuuuuper comfy, and the delivery guys are suuuuuper handsome and don’t do any damage. And there’s no hairballs lol. xo

    Liked by 1 person

    • tiredoftreadingwater October 2, 2017 / 9:15 am

      Thank you Sarah. That does sound like an ideal sofa scenario. I’ll probably stick with the old faithful one for a while now, can’t be bothered with the hassle 😀 x

      Like

  12. reallifeusblog October 13, 2017 / 11:32 pm

    Lovely your perspective and awareness navigating the couch (and cat) fiasco. Sobriety gives such clarity to our mental state, I see it with my husband and I am deeply appreciative for it. xoxo
    M

    Liked by 1 person

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