Day 16 – Thinking about my health

I’ve gone over 2 weeks now and still going strong. I’d love to say I’m feeling great as a result but I’m actually feeling pretty dreadful on and off but that’s down to struggling with my thyroid medication so not related to alcohol in any way. Even so, I know that ditching the booze can only be a good thing for my health.

Back in august I had a load of blood tests done including the much feared liver function tests. Surprisingly they came back as ‘within normal range’ which was a relief. In hindsight I think this may have played a part in my slipping back into drinking again. The booze devil inside me most definitely took it as confirmation that ‘I wasn’t that bad after all / See, no harm done’ etc…

That’s not a helpful way to think really is it? That’s like saying well hey, my liver hasn’t failed yet so I may as well keep hammering it until it does. Or, wow, I don’t have lung cancer yet so fuck it I’ll just keep on smoking and quit when I do eh? Seriously?!

There’s also the fallibility of medical tests. On a number of occasions in the last decade my thyroid tests have been ‘within normal range’ which could lead you to think it was perfectly fine. Unfortunately, due to Hashimoto’s disease my immune system has been doing a ninja kick-ass routine on it for all that time so in reality it has been merely scraping by and keeping up the appearance of normality against all odds. Sooo… who knows, maybe that’s what my liver has been doing?

I also can’t escape the fact that when I have a drinking binge – which is basically any time I drink – I get a dull pain under the right side of my ribs. No drink = no pain, drink = pain. Suspicious huh? It’s not rocket science 😉

In the last couple of weeks I’ve watched some alcohol-related documentaries on youtube and wow has that been a sobering experience. Watching a young woman with liver failure have 23 litres of ascites fluid drained from her abdomen (it looks like cloudy pee!) is pretty appalling 😦 Here are links to some of the most interesting ones:

Old before my time – alcohol
Alcohol will kill you!

The next one may seem a bit judgemental at times, particularly about whether addiction is a disease or not, but it still raises many interesting points to consider:

Beyond sober

And on a more positive and uplifting note here’s a beautiful one focusing on sobriety:

Sober

I also bought a couple of books for my new kindle which was a sober treat that’s already 50% paid for by the savings from not drinking:
Drink: The Deadly Relationship Between Women and Alcohol – Ann Dowsett Johnston
Smashed: Growing Up A Drunk Girl – Koren Zailckas

So, lots of sobriety-focused watching, reading and thinking going on here. It’s now almost 5am and I’m enjoying the early silence whilst I write this. I have a busy day planned doing lots of sober and productive stuff. Wishing everybody a positive, sober day too x

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